Tevia Syndrome

I spoke to my father-in-law tonight..."I hope you guys had a nice quiet day today" he inquired.
Yes, thank Gd. , it was nice and quiet. My mind has been running circles since yesterday though. Darrell and I have been working through what happened here yesterday and if we should have prevented Avital from going out there. We think Yonatan shouldn't have been there, but he seems to have dealt with it quite maturely and I think he responded in an appropriate fashion. Discussion in the Sherman house has been lively and we all have many questions.....without too many answers I might add. I have decided that it wasn't a bad thing that the kids were there, what is more important is how we deal with it and that we help them to keep their minds open and that they analyze and look at the situation from different views.


We started with talking about why they were so sad, what was it that made them cry? We came to the conclusion that it was hard and harsh to see Jew against Jew like that. To see people hitting and jumping on soldiers and to see the soldiers picking people up, throwing people. Yonatan said it felt "weird" to see what was going on, that something just didn't seem right. He mentioned more than once how people were so emotional and kids he sees regularly around the yishuv were crying. I am sure that seeing raw emotion like that is disturbing and upsetting. He also had to answer as to why he went out there when I had specifically told him not to. He said he didn't really realize that he was going to end up at Sde Boaz, he thought he would just get closer for a better view.

We went on to talk about how people behaved...Did the soldiers behave appropriately and what about the protesters? I felt it was important for the kids to not blame the chayalim who are young kids themselves carrying out a task given to them from somewhere over and above their heads. Sort of the idea of don't shoot the messenger. I talked about viewing things from different perspectives. The soldiers there yesterday were not dati and probably none live over the green line. They do not have the same background, or the same education. They relate to the world in a different way or rather from a different perspective. They are not tied to the land in the same way a religious person is and cannot be expected to understand. They have not experienced community in the same way we have and so it is natural for them not to understand why someone who isn't directly affected is so vested...Avital said she heard a policeman and a young girl argueing...the girl asked him how he would feel if it was his home, his response was it isn't your home either so why do you care and why are you here? Avital just couldn't understand what he meant and why he would think she shouldn't care. We talked about the way protestors behaved, jumping on and punching soldiers, screaming and being verbally abusive to them. We let the kids know that we think this is an ineffective and even detrimental method of protesting. we asked them what they thought the chayalim would think and feel about and toward us at the end of the day..........will they feel sadness or empathy for us or anger and disdain? We talked about being a kiddush hashem and behaving in a mentshlich way. We talked about standing up for our convictions and not letting go or giving up land without a fight...but some of the behaviour they saw and we heard about was inappropriate and in the end it didn't accomplish anything except more bad feelings. "Seasoned" israelis often shrug off this "naive" view of ours to us being "greeners" , and coming from a place where we never had to deal with these kinds of issues. We feel it is just a different point of view, somewhat more objective and yes maybe naive but not to be dismissed, atleast not by us. We talked about the left-over anger from Gush Katif and how anger can change who we are and how we behave but that it also can remind us and help us to not make the same mistakes again. We want them to know that it is also okay to protest and protect our homes. Avital commented that on a few occasions she saw unnecessary aggressiveness on the side of the soldiers and felt this was wrong. She also commented that a representative of the residents of Sde Boaz publicly requested anyone who intended to be violent to leave and no one should hurt the soldiers. And a few protested his request but that it was clear the intent of the residents was to stay non-violent.

So this lead us to the topic of Israeli Dati-Leumi Youth. We asked the kids why they thought so many kids went out there? Did they go out to cause a scene? Were they looking for fights? Do they really understand the issue and identify with it or is it a snowball sort of effect? Avital felt that her friends identified with the issue and weren't there just because it is the thing to do. She did say though that there were clearly a few who were on a mission.....we are just not sure for what. We mostly wanted the kids to analyze what happened and look at it all from all perspectives but to also know that they need to use their own minds, and look at all the information and behave as they have been brought up to and as our torah demands of us. We talked about "mob mentality" and how a group of people can get carried away in a way they may not individually.

Darrell and I also felt conflicted about all the buzz around the event and all the different information being fed to us. It was important to me to speak to yarden and hear his perspective,his first hand account. I will try to attach or publish his mass email describing the events. When you look at different newspapers you read different stories and saw different pictures. Yarden said there was a lot of press and cameras there, he felt that everyone was looking for his own pictures....some wanted settlers attacking soldiers and others the reverse. He saw injured protestors and injured soldiers. It is really hard to make it through all the information and to know what is and what isn't. On one hand, we felt that when the "professional" army saw how much resistance there was they should have pulled back, on the other hand we feel that protestors and the youth were ready for a fight and provided a good scene. We 'hear' the outpost had ample warning to take down the house...which was a shack and one man's dwelling, with a simple bed,a few possessions and no heat....On the other hand we understand people's residual anger and FEAR of the government, army and police given what went on this summer. We 'hear' that the moetza or regional council was involved with and financed the establishment of Sde Boaz but that one or two people took over the running and expansion of it. We 'hear' that the army wants Sde Boaz to be there, it is quite strategic in the region. We'hear' that Sde Boaz is on Jewish owned land but the house which was destroyed went over onto Arab land. We 'hear' about illegal arab homes being built all over the place (does anyone hear or complain about that... any evacuated 'illegal' arab settlements in the news lately)and we have seen the recent upsurge of flatbed trucks filled with olive trees, and then the planting of fields everywhere .....legal?...where is the protest about that one?. On one hand we want to be out there standing up for what we believe, we know what we believe but on the other hand we aren't sure about anything that is going on around us.....what is fact?....What is reality...I used that expression in yesterdays blog, but today I am not even sure what it is. We feel like Tevia in Fiddler on the Roof going back and forth, back and forth. In the end we wonder if we are pawns, were we a part of a show yesterday, did everyone get to put on their own little play and spin it the way they want? Going back to the conversation with my father-in-law ,he commented "Oh, politics!" At first I thought yeah politics , but it is our lives now!....then I thought yeah we may have just been a political "play-out" but in the meantime it was my children witnessing and internalizing what they saw.

I guess in the end the best outcome was the one you have just finished reading about....the process of analyzing, talking about, trying to see things from different perspectives and feeling strong and committed to what we feel is important in the appropriate way. The best outcome of yesterday was the aftermath and conversation which ensued in our home. We feel it is our job to help our children to learn to think for themselves and that they have the necessary tools on which to draw on in times of inner and outer conflict. But most importantly and I worry that the youth of tomorrow should not forget this.... We need to act in a way befitting us, our creator and his Torah....without that, then what? Avital told us about how in the middle of the protest it started hailing and that it felt like hashem was pelting down on the scene at Sde Boaz...who do you think he was mad at?......at everyone involved...like a parent at fighting siblings it hurts to see your children fighting.

Both kids came home with mud on their boots, pants and jackets......Avital's new jacket was covered in wet mud...I washed it last night and it didn't come clean. It is stained I told her, I think it is permanently stained, I was upset about it! Today I took the jacket again and stain treated and soaked it ...I washed it a total of four times and I think the stains are out. If you look closely you can see the shadow of where the mud was but you need to look really closely to see it!