Auschwitz

Some people say it has the status of a Makom Kadosh and others say that a visit there is a way of paying respect to the people who died there and some even say they experience a feeling of victory as the Nazi filth were ultimately destroyed and we subsequently, with the help of so many Jewish survivors of the Holocaust regained soverignity in our homeland after thousands of years. But for me, I mainly felt feelings of overwhelming sadness alternating with horror being at the site where my brethern were bruatlized and murdered in the most awful ways one could imagine. I felt that I was dirtied, somehow polluted by being in a place where such evil, unspeakable evil had taken place. At times I felt bad, like I was being a voyeur, seeing things that were inappropriate for me to look at. I think there are certain things we are not meant to see - why else do normal people regurgitate when they mangled bodies and other such horrific things. It also seemed to me inappropriate to see the mounds of hair and glasses and shoes and other belongings - I felt I was invading the privacy of the victims. I cound not bring myself to take pictures of these things.

Before going to Auschwitz, I was ambivalent- on the one hand I think it is important to have first hand witnesses to this place where the Nazis perpetrated their evil. But on the other hand, what possible reason is there to visit such a place. And these feelings pervaded during the hours I spent there.

Among our first stops was the only gas chamber still standing in Auschwitz. All the others were destroyed by the Nazis before they fled, in a vain attempt to hide the crimes they committed. Almost as soon as I entered the building, I experienced an undescribable feeling of sadness and dread- I had to leave it as quickly as I could.

Our guide was very knowledgable and understanding. She has been a guide for 9 years and it has obviously had a powerful impact on her- she is in the middle of completing a PHD at the Jewish studies department at the university in Cracow. But I was also ambivalent about listening to her- on the one hand it is important to know the gory details - to be able to bear witness - dates, numbers, places, processes. But on the other hand, what difference to all these numerous details matter - do we need to know more than anything except that Nazis murdered over 1,000,000 Jewish children, men and women in a systematic, efficient manner at this site. That they placed priority on killing Jews even as it cost them in their war effort- none of the other details really matter and even the things to see there can't teach you anything more. Too see a large room with no privacy, where hundreds of people were given 2 minutes to the bathroom. This was too base a sight for me to take a picture of.

The only small moments of comfort I found there were when I saw small little Israeli flags randomly stuck in places and seeing the beautiful young women from Avital's high school, Noga, walking there with Israeli flags draped around their shoulders.In applying some aspect of religion to the flag, Rav Soloveitchik zt"l found it to be likened to the garments of martyrs, a halachic concept that appears in Shulchan Aruch, in that the martyred soldiers were fighting to be able to raise the flag over captured territory.

The only spot there which provided a measure of quiet from the unsettled feeling of being there was a place in Auschwitz-Birkenau where the some ashes of victims were found. Almost all the ashes of the victims were dumped in rivers and fields in the surrounding area, but there was this one spot of ashes with tombstone like monuments placed in front. Here at least was a place where I could say the Prayer to be said at the Graves of Tzaddikim. At least here, I was able to have a small feeling of accomplishing something positive for those who had no one to aid them. To do something human and Jewish in a place where inhumanity ruled for 5 years.

Auschwitz-Birkenau is a vast area where almost everything was destroyed by the Nazis before they fled. The magnitude of this killing ground strikes you as you walk in this huge area. You walk and walk and reach the far end and look back and see the spot you started from way in the distance.

For one to internalize and imagine the events that happened there are too much to bear. I did feel it for brief moments - in the gas chamber and at one other time- when we walked through the barracks which had the personal effects of the victims there was one large glass case the held numerous Tallitot (prayer shawls) and I was consumed with grief for what was destroyed and the future generations which never born. These Jews packed few precious possessions when they were pushed out of their homes and among these they included their religious articles.


I don't think I would ever visit Auschwitz again and don't know if i would recommend it to anyone else. Perhaps it is important for teenagers to go there, but only with a Jewish guide who can put the place in the context of our people's history and beliefs, so they can also be inspired by the stories of goodness and piety which took places amidst the brutality.

Make Aliyah and See the World

Hi it is me, the husband of Ruth, making a special guest appearance here on our family blog.

Little did I know that when we made aliyah my new job would afford me the opportunity to visit so many places outside of Israel that I never imagined I would ever travel to. In my job in Canada, I did have the opportunity to visit many towns in rural Ontario within a few hours drive of Toronto but it was only after making aliyah that I had the chance to visit Philadelphia, China, South Africa and Poland in the space of one year. Fortunately, the trips have all been less than a week so I was able to be home for Shabbat with the family each time, except for my trip to North America where I was able to visit the alta heim for Shabbat. Although I have stories to tell about all my trips, I want to write down my impressions from my visit to Poland while they are relatively fresh in my mind.

The thought of visiting Poland was unsettling to me for obvious reasons. I arrived late Sunday evening in Cracow and went straight to bed after arriving at the hotel. The hotel was situated in the heart of the former Jewish district of Kazimierz where 60,000 Jews lived, or about 1/4 of the population of Cracow. Although the Jewish population of Cracow is obviously very tiny, I set out early in the morning to see if somehow I could find a minyan in the area where more than half a dozen shuls still remain standing, although there are only services at one of them on Shabbat.

I set out early at 6:30am. As I walked down the still dark narrow cobble-stoned streets of Kazimierz with my tallis and teffilin in hand, I felt almost transported back in time as I could easily imagine the thousands of Jews who would have been accompanying me along these streets not so many years ago. My best chance to find a minyan was at the Rema shul, a 5 minute walk from my hotel. Tears fell on my cheeks at the thought of the fate of the Jews who lived here in 1939 and how the vibrancy of their lives and their community was turned to dust and all that remained was this shell - these beautiful shuls sitting empty of life and maintained as museums for tourists. I did not know how I would feel during a visit to Auschwitz but here where the shul buildings stand but where no real Jewish life exists anymore, I felt a deep feeling of sadness. The gates of the Rema shul were locked of course but there was a Polish man sweeping the courtyard beyond the gates. We babbled at each other for a bit and then he turned around and continued with his task. I just stood there for awhile off to the side and after a few minutes he opened the gate to take something into the street. I thought, perhaps 20 zloty could buy me access to the shul for 30 minutes to daven by myself. He let me in to the courtyard but he didn't have the keys to open up the Shul. I went back outside and looked at a small street map posted on a sign. I decided to walk through the streets of Kazimierz and pass by other shuls - perhaps one would be open. Again I thought as I stood in front of each shul I thought how, at this hour of the day, each one would already have been open for awhile packed with people davening, learning and saying tehillim. It is hard to imagine a similar scene even today with perhaps with the exception of some places in Israel like the Old City of Jerusalem where so many Jews lived the traditional Jewish life packed so closely together. Here lived over 60,000 Jews but a heartbeat in time ago. Each one of these shuls were not small shteibels but rather large magnificent edifices. The Nazis and the Poles turned a beautiful community in to a memory, a museum, now crowded with pubs and hotels catering to tourists. For most who visit here, it is a place of historical interest and not painful as it was for me. From the Rema shul built in the 16th century I passed the Popper shul built in 1620, now used as a cultural centre. I left Szeroka street by Jozefa passed by the High Synagogue built in 1560. Just before the High synagogue I note a Hebrew inscription and 2 stars of David on the facade of a former Beit Midrash. Then turn right on Jakuba, walked 1 block to Izaaka St where I find the 17th century Izaaka shul. the shul was restored in the 1990s but it too was locked with a big sign in front reading Memory of the Jews in Poland. An exhibition that includes life-sized cut -out figures of pre-war Jews. Here now they only have cut-out figures of Jews and a few real live Jews and maybe some other Jews who dont know they are Jewish or hide the fact from everyone. As i stood outside the Izaak shul a light rain started to fall, tears from heaven. So i walked back to my hotel and said to the oblivious clerk at the desk, All the synagogues are closed. she muttered something with a shrug of her shoulders. i went and davened in my room
R